break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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