About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
