Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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