Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
