Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
