I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
