once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
