True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
