listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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