$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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