He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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