Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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