Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
