She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it hurts more in the daytime
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
