Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
nutella sex= disaster
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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