why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
