Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
