that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
