omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize