dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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