I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize