He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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