Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize