I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
