Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
