at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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