dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
