R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
