I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize