You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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