did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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