puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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