what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
