I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
