then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
