if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
