I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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