I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
