I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
