Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
