Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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