We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
