Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
