I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
