At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
