She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
