Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
