sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
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Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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