I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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