I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
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Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
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Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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