Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
