Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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