just tell him i said nine months
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
