on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
