I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
