According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
