And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
