i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
