Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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