I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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