i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
