I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
