She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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