Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize