have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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