You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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