I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
