It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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