I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
