I only kidnapped one of them. chill
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize