okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
