After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
